at the window ...
i could not have slept very long ... the clock said 0359 just before i drifted off, and when i awoke dawn had not yet descended. i did not think to look at the clock. i did not feel fully conscious. i found myself in that sleep purgatory - that place that affords me awareness, with virtually no capability of moving my body. nonetheless, i am positive this was not a dream - no ... this felt very real, indeed.
she appeared there, at the window. again. i could not see her facial features in the darkness. she appeared by my window, located right by my front door - a shadowy figure, a sillouette. i'm sure it was the same woman i had seen a few days before. her energy ... it felt the same. desperate, longing, needy. she did not speak though ... just wildly gestured.
i still can't, for the life of me, figure out what she was trying to communicate to me. she waved a piece of cloth ... a t-shirt, or towel, perhaps? i dunno. she waved it wildly ... it flapped in the light spring breeze. the sky behind her ... starry and deep dark velvet. the air ... still and silent. she danced around on the landing outside my window and front door, wildly waving this piece of cloth. she would not go away. i could not see the expression on her face. i did not really need to. the whole thing ... i found way too trippy. and ... not at all in a good way.
i tried to speak ... no words. i cannot speak when in sleep purgatory. not even to scream for help. and so ... i must find some other way to get her to go away, leave me in peace. i could not move my legs. i could, however, lift my arm ... with so much effort. i had no idea my arm could feel so heavy. and ... i had no idea it could require so much concentration to flip somebody the bird. you know, give them the finger. but ... i did. she saw me ... saw the sign. and she left.
but, she did not leave before taking my peace of mind (something that has always been fragile at best since childhood) and any notion i had that i am safe in my own home. so ... shall we take the blue pill? or the red pill? it's like that, isn't it? we all float around our lives, clinging to the illusions of safety and peace of mind ... its a FUCKING RUSE, folks. safety? peace of mind? who, among us, has these? no one, i dare say. like the animals in the jungle ... that's us.
but ... human's are worse, because they derive pleasure at inflicting unpleasantries on their fellow humans. that, in my opinion, makes us lower that the lowest life form.
note: this story is NOT a work of fiction ... just so you know
she appeared there, at the window. again. i could not see her facial features in the darkness. she appeared by my window, located right by my front door - a shadowy figure, a sillouette. i'm sure it was the same woman i had seen a few days before. her energy ... it felt the same. desperate, longing, needy. she did not speak though ... just wildly gestured.
i still can't, for the life of me, figure out what she was trying to communicate to me. she waved a piece of cloth ... a t-shirt, or towel, perhaps? i dunno. she waved it wildly ... it flapped in the light spring breeze. the sky behind her ... starry and deep dark velvet. the air ... still and silent. she danced around on the landing outside my window and front door, wildly waving this piece of cloth. she would not go away. i could not see the expression on her face. i did not really need to. the whole thing ... i found way too trippy. and ... not at all in a good way.
i tried to speak ... no words. i cannot speak when in sleep purgatory. not even to scream for help. and so ... i must find some other way to get her to go away, leave me in peace. i could not move my legs. i could, however, lift my arm ... with so much effort. i had no idea my arm could feel so heavy. and ... i had no idea it could require so much concentration to flip somebody the bird. you know, give them the finger. but ... i did. she saw me ... saw the sign. and she left.
but, she did not leave before taking my peace of mind (something that has always been fragile at best since childhood) and any notion i had that i am safe in my own home. so ... shall we take the blue pill? or the red pill? it's like that, isn't it? we all float around our lives, clinging to the illusions of safety and peace of mind ... its a FUCKING RUSE, folks. safety? peace of mind? who, among us, has these? no one, i dare say. like the animals in the jungle ... that's us.
but ... human's are worse, because they derive pleasure at inflicting unpleasantries on their fellow humans. that, in my opinion, makes us lower that the lowest life form.
note: this story is NOT a work of fiction ... just so you know
