tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-257488522024-03-06T22:48:29.353-06:00WAKE up!!!!!!words, thought and sentiment - evisceratedvelvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.comBlogger111125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-43041303908476845042006-10-13T14:30:00.000-05:002006-10-13T14:36:47.186-05:00the misguided rightyep. misguided. a la <a href="http://www.billoreilly.com/pg/jsp/general/culturewarriormessage.jsp">bill o'reilly</a>.<br />it all makes sense, somehow.<br />it's still misguided as ever ...<br />but now i get it.<br /><br />this likely falls on deaf ears, but .... perhaps you oughta <a href="http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1543658,00.html">read this secret letter from the battlefield in iraq</a><br /><br />inform yourselves! wake up!<br /><br />don't get me wrong ... i ain't coming back here. but i couldn't resist one last attempt at opening your eyes to the reality of the world around you. you, who sit - wedged firmly - in that repressive fundamentalist box of yours. WAKE UP!velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-64410262011777814102006-09-30T01:48:00.000-05:002006-09-30T01:51:21.986-05:00gone gone gone ... not returning<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/250803445_fb607d2697.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/320/250803445_fb607d2697.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/dvs/">dvs</a></span><br /><br />this blog is now defunct.<br />the veiled hostility ... the fear philosophy?<br />not for me.<br /><br />there are a very few of you with i wish to remain connected.<br />you already know who you are, assuming you've checked your e-mail.<br /><br />to this rest: sianara.<br /><br /><br /></div>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-86250797324075163972006-09-28T23:36:00.000-05:002006-09-28T23:49:50.843-05:00in case you wonderi'm not deleting this blog. or changing the url. i was awfully tempted to. but i changed my mind. that said, i don't feel a part of the network like i once did. i'm starting to feel judged for what i write and i find myself wondering if i should write this or that for fear of how some may react. this blog is supposed to be a place for me. to write what i need to. its therapeutic. but, there are some pretty conservative minds out there.<br /><br />and i'm not so sure i feel safe or comfortable any more expressing myself here. and the things i need to vent are uglier than any of you likely care to know. we only ever want to hear the happy and glib stuff of life. few of us want to witness the suffering. and the dreadful decisions with which some struggle. its never black and white. but most of you who have not walked down those roads seem to think it is.<br /><br /> so, for what its worth i'm here. that raving and restless hyberbolic lunatic of a bitch is here.<br /><br />oh, and one more thing. i've thought about it. a lot. and, now that i've seen the writing on the wall about this place, i don't think i personally had much to do with ardlair's sudden departure. i think its all that judgement i mentioned above. bullies!velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-14972021526893347142006-09-23T01:46:00.000-05:002006-09-23T00:04:10.190-05:00the human rights of our enemies<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">i did have an unwieldy looking </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">cut and paste post, </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">but ... i knew </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">i could do better than that. </span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">and so, here '<span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">tis</span>.</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/114081011_881df59177.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/114081011_881df59177.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">artist is <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">andrew</span> <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">ross</span>, originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pantufla/"><span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">pantufla</span></a></span><br /></div><br />in 2004, on the UN international day for the victims of torture, <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">dubya</span> stated that "America stands against and will not tolerate torture." he further stated that "The United States also remains steadfastly committed to upholding the Geneva Conventions, which have been the bedrock of protection in armed conflict for more than 50 years."<br /><br /><span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">ok</span>. that's hilarious. a real load of steaming brown poop, considering what's in the <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/Investigation/story?id=1322866"><span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">CIA's</span> bag of interrogation tricks</a>. torture as an interrogation technique? yes, you will find the cold cell and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_boarding#Modern_waterboarding">water boarding</a> among these so called acceptable techniques. interesting - since such interrogation techniques violate the <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">geneva</span> convention of which the president spoke so passionately in the above quotes.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/114081157_c403157964.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/114081157_c403157964.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pantufla/"><span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">pantufla</span></a><br /></span></div><br />so, in the wake of the <a href="http://www.salon.com/news/abu_ghraib/2006/03/14/introduction/">absolute horror</a> unveiled in <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">abu</span> <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">ghraib</span> and given <a href="http://us.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/09/21/terror.bill/index.html"><span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">dubya's</span> attempts</a> to undermine the <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">geneva</span> convention and challenge the habeas corpus principal, i - <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">josephine</span> public - face some serious realities. at the very least, a betrayal of truth - for, such abuses are beyond my imagination and comprehension, given my social, cultural and geographic setting. but, i must transcend that outrage and focus on the facts presented, on what's said and on what's not said. and most of all, on what it represents in terms of the political tide that's turning here.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/51889708_6d47c672e3_o.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/51889708_6d47c672e3_o.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikespix/">mike from <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">zurich</span></a></span><br /></div><br />it disturbs me. mostly because of my visionary way of looking at people and events. i see behaviours and actions as manifestations of an <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">individual's</span> motivations. motivations being rooted in values and human ethics. and, very telling of any society's values, is the conditions with which it's prepared to live. what do we think we can live with as a society? what does that tell us about the value we collectively attach to life? pride? power? humanity? THINK ON IT.<br /><br />i don't see <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">occurences</span> in isolation. rather, as a culmination of circumstances, conditions, behaviours and actions. my present results from my past. my interaction can alter its course. my apathy and complacence leaves it unaltered. and so it is for world affairs. we look to dark lesions in human history with disdain and politically correct outrage. we tell ourselves we can't imagine what those <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">german</span> people were thinking, voting for a monster like <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">hitler</span>. really? i think it's quite simple, when you consider the social, political and cultural forces at work in <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">german</span> society at that time.<br /><br />the horror of it all lies in its insidious nature. they did not vote <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">hitler</span> in based upon a platform of annihilating 6 million <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">jewish</span> people. they voted for him based on his fervor and passion to lift a weak, confused and floundering <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">germany</span> to a strong and proud <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">germany</span>. he spoke so passionately the comforting rhetoric the <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">german</span> public longed to hear, needed to hear. and once hooked into a belief tract, one sees what one wants to see and hears what one wants to hear. and of course, since its dawn as an institution, government has always carefully controlled the flow of information to its citizens, with a carefully crafted spin.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/213402584_66e9fc1182.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/213402584_66e9fc1182.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/satanoid/"><span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">sataniod</span></a></span><br /></div><br />considering the atrocities in our modern information era that went unnoticed as they unfolded - such as <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">bosnia</span>, <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">abu</span> <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">ghraib</span>, etc - it does not seem hard for me to imagine that a majority of the <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">german</span> public remained blissfully unaware of the 'final solution.' and then, consider the social and cultural climate of the time: rigid and intolerant to any deviations - a setting in which hatred and bigotry flourish.<br /><br />the horror sinks to our own level even further, doesn't it? for, don't a goodly portion of people out there believe that all the <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30">abu</span> <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31">ghraib</span> torture fell upon deserving victims? 'they're the enemy! they don't deserve human rights!' sound like a familiar rhetoric? sound like the sort of rhetoric that gives rise to hatred and bigotry? it does to me .... chillingly so, in fact. isn't that what underlies the <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">american</span> government's assertion that terrorist will not receive 'due process' under the law?<br /><br />and so ... do you think <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">america's</span> enemies deserve human rights? think, for a moment, before you answer. recall that <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34">hitler</span> perceived the <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35">jewish</span> people as his enemy, and, more importantly, as an enemy of the <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36">germany</span> nation. whether you or i or the public at large agree or disagree is really beside the point. perception governs the direction of one's action's. that's my point. which leads me to the conclusion that not much separates us, a 21st century society driven by fear, despair and rage, from that floundering and broken german society of 6 decades ago.<br /><br />frightening, isn't it?<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">EDIT 28.9.06: comments' section edited ... i've grown up a little and removed the piquant tirade. read the new comment below. i'm learning a great deal about the american psyche here, just by virtue of your silence alone. interesting. how repressive and vengeful it seems from some angles.<br /><br />if you're going to post a comment, make it related to the content of the post or i will delete. the objective here is to intelligently discuss the issue at hand - read post - not engage in some ideological shit throwing fest.<br /><br />BTW: in case no one gets cynicism and mockery ... the 'cure for bigotry' image is clearly my attempt at both. its stark stupidity just struck me so much i laughed out loud when i saw it. maybe its that strange canadian sense of humor that not many of you get, i dunno.<br /></span>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-83409222321954504462006-09-22T23:12:00.000-05:002006-09-21T23:19:59.786-05:00do you know who rachel corries is?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/RachelCorrie_003.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/RachelCorrie_003.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />a 24 year old peace activist working in gaza to further the cause of the many suffering palestinans. the israelis killed her by crushing her with a bulldozer as she tried to save a palestinian familiy's home from demolition by the israeli army. <a href="http://rachelcorriefoundation.org/?p=47">FIND OUT more here</a> and <a href="http://www.rachelswords.org/rachels-emails/">and here</a> ... and ask yourself why a play based on emails which described her experience in gaza was cancelled in NYC on the 3rd anniversary of her death for fear of offending the israeli community!<br /><br />her parents have only from the US government, an assertion that 'the report of the Israeli military investigation into Rachel's killing did not meet the standard of "thorough, credible, or transparent.' the US government has yet to conduct its own investigation into the death of its own civilian citizen at the hands of a foreign military. WHY?<br /><br />find out more about her here: <a href="http://rachelcorrie.org/alert.htm">rachel corrie memorial site</a>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-16386524592008719762006-09-22T12:58:00.000-05:002006-09-22T00:20:39.334-05:00what they think ... excerpts from a baghdad blog<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/19435563_ead9eeb937.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/19435563_ead9eeb937.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/snakeblocker/">hummingbird on crack</a></span><br /></div><blockquote>This is how it is to talk with most of the <span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">American administration's members, and most of the American Congress members. They are people who live only in their closed, limited world, who have no wish, or mental ability, to listen to the Other. They listen to the illusory, inner voice in their heads, insisting upon it, for years and years, until they are removed from their posts</span>. And I don't know then whether their stupid, parrot-style mentality will change, or evolve into one that understands reality and responds to it. But what will be the point?<br />By then they would be outside of the decision-making zone….<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/19432445_6648108fd3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/19432445_6648108fd3.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/snakeblocker/">hummingbird on crack</a></span><br /></div><br />I looked at that foolish man [dubya], and saw how stupid and conceited he is, how <span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">he [dubya] reads reality according to his mood, imagining he is playing the role of the savior hero, while we play the role of the weaklings who call to him for help. The truth is exactly the opposite;</span> the American presence in Iraq brought upon us destruction, catastrophes, chaos and terrorism. And scheduling the withdrawal is the only thing that can make the Iraqis happy<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/19432446_be8e9ebca1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/19432446_be8e9ebca1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/snakeblocker/">hummingbird on crack</a></span><br /></div><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">No accounts were settled about stealing billions of dollars from the Iraqi treasury and public funds, which were supposed to be used for reconstructing Iraq.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">There was no improvement for the citizen's services. Who cares about them? What are they worth?</span><br />Huh, huh, huh. (to laugh at a bitter joke, the Iraqi way)…..<br />The prices of fuels and food were raised, while the country sinks in high (and growing) unemployment levels, of about 50-70%...<br />Who cares?<br />No one cares about the Iraqis' souls, comfort, or food…<br />I do not know why the whole world turned against us, or abandoned us??<br />International interests?<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/19438438_2f7e9a7a2e.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/19438438_2f7e9a7a2e.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/snakeblocker/">hummingbird on crack</a><br /></span></div><br />Some gangs and militias appeared which none of the Iraqi Parties admit being responsible for. Dressed in black, attacking the Sunnies in Iraq. Meaning- a violence from the Shia'at's side in Iraq, against the Sunnies in Iraq, this time…. And a series started; of <span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">killing Sunnies, dislodging them from their houses and places of living, killing them according to their ID cards, and torturing them in a new trend called- the drill, as holes are made in the victim's body until he dies.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">By God, this is a kind of literature not even saddam Hussein in his time knew of</span>. There is also killing by cutting off heads and throwing them in the street, and the random shootings of people on the streets, or at their work locations. Death became so available and cheap, like trash, in Iraq….<br /></blockquote><span style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);">read more ... </span><a style="color: rgb(255, 102, 0);" href="http://afamilyinbaghdad.blogspot.com/">a family in baghdad</a>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-90102346417475051272006-09-21T17:08:00.000-05:002006-09-21T17:14:52.686-05:00so, this is freedom?i wonder what john lennon would think, don't you?<br /><br /><blockquote>As the practice of rendition has shown, mistakes are indeed made and lives are ruined. Some in the US government have tried to justify rendition and "black sites" by saying they are a necessary means of capturing and holding the "worst of the worst", and that "renditions save lives", yet there is no legal or judicial mechanism to ensure that this is the case. The methodology is to grab first, sometimes on flimsy or non-existent evidence, and to ask questions later.<br /><br />Without a transparent process, based on the international standards and customary rules that bind all states, the programme of rendition and secret detention is eroding the human security and rule of law it claims to protect. <span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">For all practical purposes, the USA has created a law-free zone, in which the human rights of certain individuals have simply been erased</span>. <span style="font-style: italic;">[emphasis mine]</span></blockquote> <a href="http://web.amnesty.org/library/index/ENGAMR510512006">USA Below the radar: Secret flights to torture and ‘disappearance’</a>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-89846200615130772842006-09-21T14:18:00.000-05:002006-09-21T14:22:47.603-05:00why they hate us - reasons 697 to 995<span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);font-size:180%;" >WAKE up!<br /></span><br /><a href="http://www.salon.com/news/abu_ghraib/2006/03/14/introduction/">the abu ghraib files</a> ... 279 fotos and 19 videosvelvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-34918599512831832242006-09-20T00:34:00.000-05:002006-09-19T22:03:31.852-05:00WAKE up!<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/adn0016.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/adn0016.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">image: <a href="http://www.ratm.com/">rage against the machine</a><br /><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;">Come on!<br />Uggh!<br /><br />Come on, although ya try to discredit<br />Ya still never edit<br />The needle, I'll thread it<br />Radically poetic<br />Standin' with the fury that they had in '66<br />And like E-Double I'm mad<br />Still knee-deep in the system's shit<br />Hoover, he was a body remover<br />I'll give ya a dose<br />But it'll never come close<br />To the rage built up inside of me<br />Fist in the air, in the land of hypocrisy<br /><br />Movements come and movements go<br />Leaders speak, movements cease<br />When their heads are flown<br />'Cause all these punks<br />Got bullets in their heads<br />Departments of police, the judges, the feds<br />Networks at work, keepin' people calm<br />You know they went after King<br />When he spoke out on Vietnam<br />He turned the power to the have-nots<br />And then came the shot<br /><br />Yeah!<br />Yeah, back in this...<br />Wit' poetry, my mind I flex<br />Flip like Wilson, vocals never lackin' dat finesse<br />Whadda I got to, whadda I got to do to wake ya up<br />To shake ya up, to break the structure up<br />'Cause blood still flows in the gutter<br />I'm like takin' photos<br />Mad boy kicks open the shutter<br />Set the groove<br />Then stick and move like I was Cassius<br />Rep the stutter step<br />Then bomb a left upon the fascists<br />Yea, the several federal men<br />Who pulled schemes on the dream<br />And put it to an end<br />Ya better beware<br />Of retribution with mind war<br />20/20 visions and murals with metaphors<br />Networks at work, keepin' people calm<br />Ya know they murdered X<br />And tried to blame it on Islam<br />He turned the power to the have-nots<br />And then came the shot<br /><br />Uggh!<br />What was the price on his head?<br />What was the price on his head!<br /><br /><br />I think I heard a shot<br />I think I heard a shot<br />I think I heard a shot<br />I think I heard a shot<br />I think I heard a shot<br />I think I heard, I think I heard a shot<br /><br />'He may be a real contender for this position should he<br />abandon his supposed obediance to white liberal doctrine<br />of non-violence...and embrace black nationalism'<br />'Through counter-intelligence it should be possible to<br />pinpoint potential trouble-makers...And neutralize them,<br />neutralize them, neutralize them'<br /><br />Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!<br />Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!<br /><br />How long? Not long, cause what you reap is what you sow<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">(a song by <a href="http://www.ratm.com/">rage against the machine</a>)</span></div>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-41986586522121144132006-09-19T16:23:00.001-05:002006-09-19T16:23:30.602-05:00why do people NEED to believe in god?<div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/142837197_18f862d2e2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/142837197_18f862d2e2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pixelsnap/">pixelsnap</a></span><br /></div><br />is it because<br />god makes it so much easier<br />to explain away so-called 'evil?'<br /><br />or, is it because<br />god makes so much easier<br />to pass the BUCK?<br /><br />or, is it because<br />god makes it so much easier<br />to accept exclusion and bigotry?<br /><br />or is it because<br />god makes it so much easier<br />to remain in the comfort zone,<br />inside the box?<br /><br />or is it because<br />humans are so weak<br />and feeble of spirit<br />that they cannot rely on themselves<br />to determine their own purpose in life?<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">just wondering out loud.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/the-meir/19347728/" title="photo sharing"><img src="http://static.flickr.com/15/19347728_98796a6e98_m.jpg" alt="" style="border: 2px solid rgb(0, 0, 0);" /></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/the-meir/">Baracute</a>.</span> </div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">do you think i'm being antagonistic?<br />secularly absolute?<br />do you think i'm wrong?<br /><br />well, i expect an affirmative response to those three questions.<br /><br />this is just my velvet acid way<br />of telling y'all<br />to get your heads outta your asses<br />and realise that<br />there is another way of seeing the world.<br /><br />opposition exists. ignore it. or inform yourself.<br /><br />and realise this ....<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0); font-family: lucida grande; font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >we are all groping in the spiritual darkness on this earth<br /></span></div>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-18882846802646303312006-09-19T14:47:00.000-05:002006-09-19T14:48:42.197-05:00MORE of me me me!<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/sleeping-velvet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/sleeping-velvet.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>y'all can thank lupin for this shot ... <span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 153);">8^D</span><br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/IMG_0023.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/IMG_0023.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>and, i think he took this one, too<br />he just snaps, snaps, snaps away!<br />i guess that's because i'm sooooooooo purdy!<br /><br />are you puking yet?<br />or gagging, at least ?<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 255);">*</span><span style="color: rgb(153, 153, 255);font-size:130%;" >giggles</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">*</span><br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/IMG_0024.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/IMG_0024.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>i sorta like this one ... its very <span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);">M</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">E</span><br />taken by -- who d'ya think?<br />guess!<br /></div>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-46582435786107893512006-09-18T20:46:00.000-05:002006-09-15T23:29:22.463-05:00100 random thoughts for my 100th post!<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/100-sign-2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/100-sign-2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/lwr/">leol30</a></span><br /></div><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-family:lucida grande;font-size:130%;" >the first 25 ...</span><br /><ol><li><a href="http://www.esteelauder.com/templates/products/sp_nonshaded.tmpl?CATEGORY_ID=CATEGORY8997&PRODUCT_ID=PROD8385">what i wear</a> ... or <a href="http://www.esteelauder.com/templates/products/sp_nonshaded.tmpl?CATEGORY_ID=CATEGORY6836&PRODUCT_ID=PROD2222">this</a> ... or ... <a href="http://www.esteelauder.com/templates/products/sp_nonshaded.tmpl?CATEGORY_ID=CATEGORY6835&PRODUCT_ID=PROD1950">this</a></li><li>i'm spacially challenged and directionally illiterate</li><li>the war on drugs and the war on terror are both fabricated wars designed to carve public opinion and sway the balance of power</li><li>cities everywhere should institute car-free sundays to incite people to activity and reduce fossil fuel emissions</li><li>i sometimes wish i had a job where i could use my creativity</li><li>i don't like to be touched</li><li>i hate winnipeg</li><li>i'm glad i no longer have a car</li><li>i always wonder how much of the real human historical story we have missed out on, since history is typically written by the winners, who obliterate the losers from history's pages</li><li>why do parents think biology entitles them to any respect?</li><li>why do we think we need cell phones?</li><li>when does the predator become the prey?</li><li>our push botton society makes us impatient, indolent and imagination-less</li><li>my gateway into the world of blogging was <a href="http://journal.possibilityoffire.org/">wch</a>, whose blog i stumbled upon quite accidentally - i just happened to be watching the scrolling 'recently updated' list.</li><li>it is where i found <a href="http://kwqd.blogspot.com/">swiss ben</a>, <a href="http://rotatingchaos.blogspot.com/">infini</a>, and others, i'm sure</li><li>it's where i first encountered the very kewl <a href="http://sparringk9.blogspot.com/">k9</a> for the first time in a sort of antagonistic way</li><li>do you know what <a href="http://www.vday.org/main.html">V-day</a> is? why not?<br /></li><li>have you read or seen <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Vagina-Monologues-V-Day-Eve-Ensler/dp/0375756981">this</a> book or play? do it!<br /></li><li>do you remember rotary dial telephones? television sets that only went up to channel 13? when most shows were broadcast in black and white?</li><li>is george dubya bush REALLY that stupid? or is it all an act?</li><li>don't you think this is an age of sanitization? do we hate reality so much that we pasteurisze it to meet our asthetic standards? did we all take the blue pill?</li><li>should we see suicide as an act of cowardice? or as an act of such despair as to override the primordial survival instinct?<br /></li><li>what makes some people survivors and others victims?</li><li>if you had one phone call and five minutes before you were about to die, who would you call and what would you say?</li><li>scooby dooby doo, where are you?</li></ol><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/630347_3311504b2e.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/630347_3311504b2e.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/grocko/">groc</a></span><br /></div><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);font-family:lucida grande;font-size:130%;" >the second quarter ...</span><br /><ol><li>why do we continue to accept 'because that's the way we've always done things,' as an excuse for the status quo?</li><li>i lost my passport ... and my ipod nano (4 FUCK's SAKE!!!)</li><li>ok. i didn't lose them ... i just forgot where i put 'em</li><li>i can't sleep when its dark outside ... (quite inconvenient really)<br /></li><li>i think its some new ptsd thing ... *rolls eyes* ...<br /></li><li>my stuffed moose where's leather and chains ... (really)</li><li>this underground lair is decorated thruout with stuffed animals - monkeys in the living room ... colourful snakes in the water closet ... and a stuffed pig that oinks in the kitchen<br /></li><li>(yes, i guess i need help or somethin' ... lol)</li><li>i'm addicted to starbucks' <a href="http://beta.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=25748852&postID=4658243578610789351" subcat="5">mocha frappucinos</a></li><li>i know how to mix heroine and crack rock for shooting up<br /></li><li>why do they give junkies really teeny tiny diabetic needles for shooting up?<br /></li><li>aren't they worthy of getting the proper needles?<br /></li><li>its not like if we don't give 'em the needle, they would stop ... so we are stupid NOT to give 'em the right stuff, yes?</li><li>do you know that there are likely traces of cocaine on every bill in your billfold?</li><li>for some reason, $5 bills are sorta popular for snorting ... why's that, i wonder?</li><li>do you know that there's really no good reason why marijuana is illegal.</li><li>really ...<br /></li><li>and do you know that many famous smart people in history were morphine addicts?<br /></li><li>like <a href="http://www.jhu.edu/">the dude who founded the john hopkins school of medicine</a>, for instance ...<br /></li><li>why the hell did any americans vote for dubya? was that the day they spiked the water supply with LSD?</li><li>i would look at that video tape of steven irwin, getting spiked in the heart with a stingray spine-barb, pulling it out and then dying.<br /></li><li>hey! at least i'm honest. death humbles and amazes me.<br /></li><li>i know its macabre to watch someone die ... to want to ... but, since i have watched so many people die its almost normal ...<br /></li><li>does that sound really de-ranged?</li><li>well ... so what!</li></ol><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/100%20sign-3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/100%20sign-3.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"> originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/duncan/">duncan</a><br /><br /></span></div><span style=";font-family:lucida grande;font-size:130%;" ><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">the 3rd quarter ...</span></span><br /><ol><li>we always quip uncle sam is watchin' us. (you know? a la big brother ... that orwellian concept?), but ... don't ya think uncle osama watchin' us also?</li><li>is that new islamic assassination video game objectionable because its violent?</li><li>or is it objectionable because the aim of the game is to kill dubya?</li><li>now, considering the kind of film SHIT that the USA infects the world with each year, don't we think this conscienable objectioning is FUCKING HYPOCRISY???</li><li>one in three people DONT' WASH THEIR HANDS AFTER THEIR VISIT TO THE LOO</li><li>are you that one in three?</li><li>did you know, while i'm on my soap box (har har ... see velvet's gotta sense of humour after all), did you know that the single most important and effective action to stop the spread of INFLUENZA ... or any infectious disease ... is HANDWASHING?!</li><li>and no no no ... FORGET ABOUT THAT ALCOHOL BASED LOTION SHIT they try to seel you at walgreens, or wal-mart or shoppers drug mart.</li><li>that alcohol based lotion just discourages people from washing hands</li><li>it doesn't kill all the nasties like good ole fashioned soap and water does</li><li>oh yeah, and don't be gullable enuf to believe that so called 'antibacterial' soap is any better, either<br /></li><li>its a fucking scam</li><li>did you know that this antibacterial OBSESSION is responsible for the development and rapid evolution of the SUPERBUGS?</li><li>you don't need that antibiotic for a fucking cold, you lug head!<br /></li><li>you can get lorem ipsum text <a href="http://lipsum.com/">here</a></li><li>all those who are cruel to animals will be reincarnated in the next life as that which they abused/mistreated.</li><li>i like to think that, anyhow.</li><li>why are a few radical, extremist muslim wannabes expressing such hatred over something so stupid as a quote from some old german dude that lives in that fucking roman palace?</li><li>why does the media highlight all the inflammatory garbage and hide the real stuff of life in islam .. in the world?</li><li>are all you americans just gonna sit back and watch your government exploit 9/11 for political and personal gain?</li><li>ain't it strange ... how rumsfeld and macnamara look alike?</li><li>is that sort of like ... the devil can make himself appear in various forms?</li><li>did you know the dude who invented coca cola was a morphine-addicted pharmacist on the prowl for something to cure his addiction?</li><li>did you also know the original recipe contained cocaine?</li><li>did you know that cocaine smells like acetone ... and feels like acetone surging thru you nasal passages?</li></ol><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/67180874_eb6d3b6247.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/67180874_eb6d3b6247.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:85%;">originally uploaded by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/bip/">claudecf</a></span><br /></div><span style=";font-family:verdana;font-size:130%;" ><span style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">the final 25! (whew!)</span></span><br /><ol><li>i found my ipod nano ... yeaaaay!</li><li>see? it wasn't lost ... just mis-placed ... lol</li><li>i have a bookshelf in my kitchen, right next to the fridge</li><li>eccentric, perhaps?</li><li>i gave into the webcam thing ... finally ... yup.</li><li>i got an <a href="http://www.apple.com/isight/">isight</a></li><li>do you remember when there were NO answering machines? no atms?<br /></li><li>do you remember the days when you'd make a fone call and get a real live person on the other end ... WITHOUT the fucking voice mail hell?</li><li>IKEA rulz, baby!</li><li>one more reason to hate winnipeg -- no IKEA!</li><li>and no rapid transit system! can you believe that?</li><li>and do you know that there are people here ... FUCKING LOSERS ... who still don't recycle?</li><li>who the fuck are these people? and why are they sharing the planet if they can't fucking maintain it?</li><li>urgh ... its 7 degrees C here today ... for those of you who are not hip and kewl enuf to know metric ... i will just tell you that's effing cold. well, for this time of year it is.</li><li>i am starting to like this empty nester thing ... it could work for me and lupin</li><li>soon it will be time to hatch some sort of christmas ESCAPE plan</li><li>god damn it ... I HATE CHRISTMAS ... it sucks ... it turns people into fucking retarded imbiciles!</li><li>santa claus is a scum sucking freak ... why do we perpetuate such a stupid myth?</li><li>here's a challenge for you christmas-obsessed consumeristic shopoholics:</li><li>this year make christmas NON COMMERCIAL</li><li>c'mon ... I DARE YOU ... i bet you don't have the balls to ... especially those of you with kids</li><li>too bad ... coz that's what's turning this generation into a bunch of lazy, complacent, selfish and consumeristic pigs</li><li>when's the last time you had a buy nothing day?</li><li>do you make it a point to research (a little anyway) the companies whose products you buy?</li><li>get into the <a href="htttp://adbusters.org">culture jamming</a> thing.</li></ol><div style="text-align: center;">yaaaahoooooo ...!<br />i'm FINALLY done<br />these 100 random thoughts<br />for this 100th post.<br /><br />now its time for some R&R ...<br /></div>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-74350366633323227412006-09-16T12:33:00.000-05:002006-09-15T15:59:40.109-05:00-99-<div style="text-align: center;">my 99th post ... in one spot!<br />here's a favourite foto-graf<br />to celebrate<br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 0);font-size:130%;" >number 99</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/index4.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/320/index4.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">image: <a href="http://www.moreystudio.com/">craig morey</a></span></div>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-16886428451914488602006-09-15T15:17:00.000-05:002006-09-15T15:02:55.062-05:00revisting CNN<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/3705646_894d433168_m.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/3705646_894d433168_m.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">image: <a href="http://beta.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=25748852&postID=1688642845191448860">ghostbones</a>, flickr creative commons</span><br /></div><br />ok. see that? it's roxanne, AND velvet - yeah both of us - eating crow. yeah, crow. ok. so ... that guy who calls himself 'le petit loup' ... that wolf i absolutely love to pieces? yeah - him. he makes me watch CNN. ugh. and, well, its starting to grow on me. its not the ultra-biased slant i recall from approximately a year ago. i must say, i'm impressed. yeah - lupin and i - we are real losers. don't watch 'normal' telly. nope. don't watch house, or er, or scrubs, or desperate housewives, or whatever dribble the networks try to sell north americans. nope. news. documentaries. more news. more documentaries. my favourite thing to do is watch all three news networks - <a href="http://edition.cnn.com/">CNN</a>, <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/">BBC</a>, <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/">CBC</a> - and then compare and related coverage to culture.<br /><br />yes, clearly ... we need to get out more. HA HA HA. perhaps this is what empty-nesters do?<br /><br />ok. so. i'm watching <a href="http://edition.cnn.com/">CNN</a> on mute and listening to <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Retrospectacle-Supertramp-Anthology/dp/B000B8I8J6/sr=8-1/qid=1158350419/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-5174655-9138312?ie=UTF8&s=music">supertramp's restrospectacle</a>. of course, i'm smokin' ... :D. anyway ... <a href="http://edition.cnn.com/">CNN</a> airs some alleged tape of a suicide bombing as it happens. somewhere out in the desert. eerie. really. coz, y'know what? it really reminded me of listening to the old testament bible readings in church and hearing the story of how god asked abraham to sacrifice his son isaac, as a test to see if abraham was faithful enough to obey god. i remembered thinking, as a child, how barbaric. and that's what i think now. reflecting on this suicide bombing that my eyes saw, as my ears listened to the logical song. its really true, then. we are them. they are us. call it a different name. but, those are the facts. heck, even the <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/story/world/national/2006/09/15/pope-islam.html">pope</a> stepped into the shit pile now!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">HA HA. amusing. and,<br />so ... me thinks ... that ...<br />putting the future of the world<br />in the hands of<br />religion and<br />politico-religious leaders<br />is like getting your palm<br />read by a vampire.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/1443558_7dfce073f9.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/1443558_7dfce073f9.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>image: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ghostbones/">ghostbones</a>, flickr creative commons<br /></div>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-86326701070720047142006-09-14T14:36:00.000-05:002006-09-12T22:29:40.029-05:00happy bunny wisdom<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/happy_bunny.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/400/happy_bunny.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://www.jimbenton.com/">jim benton</a> is the creator of happy bunny</span></div>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-63757078206555395452006-09-13T20:34:00.000-05:002006-09-13T00:19:17.440-05:00what i do in the land of lost souls<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/63294302_0ee782ee36_m.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/63294302_0ee782ee36_m.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:85%;">image: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ghostbones/">ghostbones</a>, flickr creative commons</span><br /></div><br />arthritis had crumpled and twisted her 75-year-old body like a potato chip. barely able to bear her own weight. very tenuously able to walk only the shortest of distances. right-sided heart failure manifested itself in her bloated limbs. she told me i looked like my mother, whom she remembered from french boarding school in the 1930s and 40s. i wondered what life would have turned out like if i'd had a mother like her.<br /><br />she told me, not in those words, she felt life no longer held worth these days. she sobbed -- gutteral, primordial weeping. she wore an innate compulsion to apologize for herself, her feelings, her outburst. her trembling voice stammered and waivered through her sobs and tumbled out in some sort of fren-glish patois. i crouched on the floor at her feet. silent. listening. and, rubbing her arthritis knee with my hand, i felt obtuse in my powerlessness. and ... i felt her.<br /><br />loneliness. abandon. desolate. fearful. self pity. and the grief that rains upon us as age looms ever larger. these things i felt in her. a child in calgary. another in san francisco. and a fit-and-healthy husband that left her, (stuck in the nursing home), to return to working the farm in saskachewan. and, oh dear blog, i heard the grief in her voice. grief for the woman she was, when a younger body allowed her to live fully and unrestricted.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/137423457_369bb7dc06_m.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/137423457_369bb7dc06_m.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">image: <a href="http://flickr.com/photos/foshie/">foshie</a>, flickr creative commons</span><br /></div><br />now she grieves for herself. lost body. lost mobility. lost independence. lost place in her social network. and a mind intact. cruel. cruel fate, when age erodes the body to a grinding pain-filled halt, while leaving mentation unaffected. unaffected - to contemplate one's own slow demise? lost. she's lost. i'm lost. i have no answers, no words of wisdom, for her. i have nothing for her but love. and, blog, sometimes i fear that love does not suffice.<br /><br />lost. lost souls. that is what i do - soothe the lost souls. that is what a nurse does.velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-80241653553845793652006-09-12T04:17:00.000-05:002006-09-12T02:29:59.336-05:00crumbling grace & scoured petals<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/195756541_756e81efb1_m.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/195756541_756e81efb1_m.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:85%;">image: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ghostbones/">ghostbones </a>flickr creative commons</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: left;">i awoke to the sensation of something slimy touching me. touching me. first my hand. this pulsing, hardened thing. pulsing and slimy. and then ... then other places. i felt that slimy pulsing hard thing rub against my tummy, my chest, and .... i have this image of the thing in my mouth. gagging. quietly gagging. and i carry this image of the thing in my head. and my body remembers that i saw the thing alot. alot. and my body remembers that it hurt. that it felt ugly. made me feel ugly. inside. and out. and flawed.<br /><br />i remember you sitting on me once on the toilet. you would take it upon yourself to invade my privacy every chance you got and touch me. touch me. coz you couldn't keep your fucking hands off me. and your fucking dick in your pants and away from me. were you wearing pants? i don't remember seeing them. did you visit <a href="http://velvetacidexplosion.blogspot.com/2006/03/dear-sis.html">kay's</a> room too? (before she died, she said you did things.) was that before or after your visits to my room? do you think mum bought that 'checking on the girls' excuse all along? or is that why you liked to stay up later than mum?<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/fallen_angel.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/fallen_angel.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">image: artist unknown</span><br /></div><br />i know you spied on me ... lurked about ... (among other things) while i slept, or pretented to sleep. did you know? that sometimes i pretended? i know you did things. ugly things. things involving your penis. i remember having bladder infections. severely. all the time. i remember the way of our household. doting, touchy-feely, controlling father and emotionally absent mother. and, i remember what mother said to us girls: 'i don't love you or you' ... 'i'm gonna kill myself and it'll be all your fault' ... is this why? is this why she said those things? because she knew?<br /><br />i remember your rules and control. of us, your girls. YOUR baubles ... existing solely for your pleasure. i remember how your forbade us from going to sleepovers. and from having any of our own. i remember the visits. flashes. bits. shards. and the way you owned me. invaded me. violated me. my body remembers. remembers the sensation of you, violating me. scouring my tender, frail flower. scouring my insides. imagine steel wool scouring an orchid. that's what it felt like. SCOUR. pieces of me flaked away with each thrust. you erased me ... eroded me. with your slimy sandpaper thing. with your sandpaper lust.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/85601270_e4c7be5144_m.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/85601270_e4c7be5144_m.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">image: flickr creative commons</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">pieces of my heart flaked away.<br />to nothingness.<br />again. and again. and again.<br />my heart flaked away to nothingness.<br />painful. searing. desolate.<br />you reduced me to nothingness.<br /></div><br />i hold no grudge. i feel no desire for revenge. but i have closed my heart to you. and i feel repulsed by your touch. and your desperate, silent pleas for mercy. i hold no grudge. i feel no desire for revenge. but i do not surrender forgiveness. and i never will. <a href="http://ravenvelvetpoetry.blogspot.com/2006/08/grace-grotesquely-crumbles.html">your grace grotesquely crumbles</a>. and i feel pangs of sadness. for you. for me. for what could have been. if only. if only. and now? what do you expect? how dare you expect anything! that's what my bruised raven heart cries out, in the dark of night, when my body cannot sleep. you took a gentle dove in your hands. and you pressed. suffocated. choked the life from it. and your grace grotesquely crumbled.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">and flakes ... of you ... of me ... fall, piercing, sinking. gashing at my sanity.<br /><br />eviscerating my pysche.<br /></div></div></div>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-1319640436317832872006-09-12T00:32:00.000-05:002006-09-11T23:59:45.063-05:00me me me me me<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/roxi1970.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/roxi1970.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">1970 - me and my mum - (doesn't mum look like she's coping well?)<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/smoking-roxi.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/smoking-roxi.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>2006 - me, doing what i do best :^D<br /></span></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/logan%26roxie.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/logan%26roxie.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">2005 - me and my son<br /></span></div><br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/roxi.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/roxi.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">2005 - me, self portrait<br /></span></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/rox%26wulf.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/rox%26wulf.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">2006, me and the wolf (self-portrait)</span><br /></div>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-4389628447898782962006-09-11T00:39:00.000-05:002006-09-07T22:50:15.049-05:0011/9/01 ... a post about 9/11<span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 204);">ON THAT DAY </span><br />i recall vividly the moment i heard about the crash. 08:10 - it was a wednesday morning - we were driving under a bridge, on the perimeter highway - lupin driving me home after a 12 hour nite shift (my 2nd nite - my 2nd 12 hr shift in as many days). i did not sleep that day. we stared at the telly screen, dumbfounded. a colleague at work worried that his mother - who lived and worked in NYC - did not survive the crash. he had no news of his mother for a few days. each of those days we worked together, the anguish swirled in him. things turned out ok for that family ... but i remember the anguish of those early days.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/50644113_e8ecda13f7_m.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/50644113_e8ecda13f7_m.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>i<span style="font-size:85%;">mage: flickr creative commons</span><br /></div><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 204);">ABOUT THAT DAY</span><br />for me, the anguish of that day swells, with each passing year. with each passing year, life tumbles past us, the way leaves glide upon gentle breezes. and moments pass. moments from which death has banished those dearly departed. they say time heals all wounds, but with time, the wound gapes ever wider.it feels as though, i think, with each year that passes, the dearly departed shrink further and further from our grasp. from our mind's grasp.<br /><br />when do we forget the sound of their voice? the way touching them made us feel? when do their images start to fade in our minds? and ... we ask the question ... why? for eternity -- WHY? each joyful moment, forever after, has a bittersweet taste. can joy without our dearly departed truly feel like joy? or does it feel plastic and contrived? like, sort of surreal. for us - survivors left behind - a tomorrow exists. can we live with that?<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 204);">AFTER THAT DAY</span><br />stunning photographs captured horrorific moments - remember these?<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/dest.3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/dest.3.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>and the OUT<span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">RAGE</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/wtc-person-falling-07-orig.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/wtc-person-falling-07-orig.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>they caused?<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/ny_7.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/ny_7.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">and how soon ... we didn't see them anymore?<br /></div><br /><span style="color: rgb(204, 102, 204);">SANITIZING?</span><br />do you ever ask yourself, why? why the desperate urge to sanitize these deaths? considering the extremely graphic and disturbing images seen at the liberation of the concetration camps after WW2, why did these pictures trigger such outrage? 11/9 IS. irrevocably. do we want to remember it? or are we going to have dinner with that big white elephant on the dining room table? i, for one, don't care to dine with the big white elephant. been there, done that. i choose to live in brutal reality. death = life. the value of life lies in the eternity of death. (does that sound sort of too surreal, maybe?)<br /><br />i had the wonderful privilege of seeing the north american premiere of this movie: <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/passionateeyemonday/fallingman/">the falling man</a>. it traces the origin of the photo, from the photographer thru to the journalists who sought to identify the 'falling man.' but, more interesting that this, the movie speaks to the whole denial of death, despite the massive loss of life on 11/9.<br /><br />its true - for the most part, we only wanted to see images of the rescue workers sifting thru the rubble. we desperately wanted to turn our heads away from the terror and ugliness and such a death. why? are not those who made a choice and resolved to plummet to their death ... are not those people victims just the same as those who did not make that choice? do we honour their memory by denying the way they died? i think not.<br /><br />i ask myself. what would i do? what would you do? would you make a phone call? who would you call? what would you say? what would course thru my mind moments before such a horrific death? we cannot begin to imagine having to make such a choice. death by fire or death by sudden deceleration? no escape. only escape to death. so -- what of the falling man photo? when i look at it, i am stunned by the stark contrasts that converge there: the bright sun and a solitary, free falling figure, almost perfectly aligned with the vertical axis of the tower. and then reality - a person, falling to his death. and death, DEATH.<br /><br />that feeling you have? that uncomfortable feeling?<br />its called humility<br /> ... because ...<br />death is a most humbling experience.<br /><br />what do you see in the falling man photo?<br /><br />what do you see, in all this?velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-71402840662216869042006-09-09T01:50:00.000-05:002006-09-05T00:55:54.868-05:00the eroticism of flowers<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/70102.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/70102.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">image: black iris by <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">georgia</span> <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">o'keeffe</span> (1925)</span><br /></div><br />i have this passion for flowers. flowers - such finely sculpted botanical entities. so sensual, exotic, and exquisite. so colourful, flamboyant, and filled with delicate strength. but -- my passion extends only to flowers with a visible throat. flower throat: the tiny and delicate cavern that's set into its heart - where all the petals converge. therein lies the beauty of a flower - its undulating curves - its many unspoiled and mysterious gorges, so smoothly velvet. does its beauty also lie in its symbol as a creative force of nature? examine closely the work of <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">georgia</span> <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">o'keeffe</span>. burgeoning with sexual imagery.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/SG3023%7EJack-in-the-Pulpit-No-I-V-Posters.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/SG3023%7EJack-in-the-Pulpit-No-I-V-Posters.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:85%;">image: jack in the pulpit IV by <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">georgia</span> <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">o'keeffe</span> (1930)</span><br /></div><br />i have <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foley_catheter">catheterized</a> many women. and just as many men. what i noticed? that, just like no two flower petals look alike, so it is with women -- they differ in their blossoms. oh so slightly, only. in the most <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">minuscule</span>, <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">infinitesimal</span> way. the female flower seems, to me, a most finely carved flesh sculpture. still ... when i look at the image of jack in the pulpit, undeniably, i know what i see. <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">i'm</span> sure, dear reader, you see it too.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/374947%7ERed-Canna-Gold-Trim-Posters.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/374947%7ERed-Canna-Gold-Trim-Posters.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">image: red <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">canna</span>, by <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">georgia</span> <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">o'keeffe</span> (1923 )</span><br /></div><br />whenever i used to doodle flowers in my notebooks during high school physics classes, i always found roses' throats the finest and most scintillating pieces to doodle. i never considered why. perhaps its that all those curves, gorges and finely carved petal edges create the deepest beauty any eyes could behold. and that those petals, which look so frail and weak, exist solely to bring the sweetest fruit to bear. i have this image burned into my head: a succulent fruit emerging from a flower whose petals are splitting and wilting.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">metamorphosis, sensuality, and desire.<br />that's what my soul thinks of<br />when my eyes see a flower<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);">what do you see in a flower?</span><br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">+~~~~~~~+~~~~~~~+<br /></div><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);"><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">because of the beta-blogger </span><a href="http://betabloggerhell.blogspot.com/">crap</a><br />anyone who does not have a beta-blog yet<br />will have to post anon.<br />so, do it already!<br />just please have the BALLS<br />to identify yourself<br />in your comment,<br />is all i ask :D.<br /><br />also ... you may want to select<br />and copy your comments b4 pushing the<br />publish comment button ... just in case<br /></span></div>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-3727460450196341222006-09-04T01:33:00.000-05:002006-09-09T01:33:57.083-05:00the bondage of a black dove (for ardlair)<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:85%;" >dearest ardlair - </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:85%;" >wherever you may lurk, </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:85%;" >know that </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:85%;" >you inspired this post. </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:85%;" >i hope i did not chase you away </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:85%;" >with this sentiment. </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:85%;" >but, i won't apologize for writing this </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:85%;" >... or thinking this ... </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:85%;" >or feeling this. </span><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);font-size:85%;" >come back to us soon.</span><br /></div><span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/133606572_9aab288b5a_m.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/133606572_9aab288b5a_m.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">image: flickr creative commons<br /></span><br /></div>that stupid little photon box sailed into <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00003CX95?v=glance">braveheart</a> just as william wallace lay on that wooden block, crying "FREEDOM!" and then? and then, kindred one, i thought of you. a soul so far away, and yet so very close. i know not your name, the colour of your eyes, or even what you look like. still, it matters not, for i know the colour of your soul - and i have gazed into that tiniest part of your psyche which you have laid bare, here.<br /><br />do you know, dearest, that you glow inside me this night? sublime images flash in my head, and through my heart. images and dreams. dreams and fantasies. i would give a great deal to see the look on your face, dearest, when these words tell you that i awoke with the taste of you on my lips, and on my tongue, and with sweet thoughts of you, glistening in those infinitesimal beads of sweat that trickled along my breast bone.<br /><br />and so, my kindred beauty, i have freed a black dove from its bondage: unsealed some more dark truth, and unfurled a little more of my damaged, raven heart. it speaks in tongues, my bruised raven heart, tongues that i do not understand. understanding -- perhaps it's an illusion? or PERHAPS --- perhaps the illusion lies in that veil of mystique which you wear like a tight sheath? or, in the crisp chill of your tender aloofness?<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/17716151_c5087233fc_m.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/17716151_c5087233fc_m.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">image: flickr creative commons</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">does the enigma persevere, dearest?<br />or the illusion?<br />though so very far from you,<br />i feel you, my sweet<br />-- a most delicious, enigmatic and kindred spirit --<br />i feel you<br />i dream of you<br /><br />that's all. i just wanted you to know.<br /><br />-THE END-<br /></div>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-4772294229636944972006-08-31T13:35:00.000-05:002006-08-31T14:17:31.255-05:00effing bloggeryeah ... effing blogger booted ME outta me own blog!! some fucking upgrade this bullshit is, man! oh well ... whatever ... so, yeah - i <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">hadda</span> make this blog thing <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">un</span>-private again, just so i could see it. UGH. i really got nothing to say here, these days.<br /><br />well, i do - but not anything anyone wants to hear.<br /><br />its like this: if i speak up about politics/foreign policy, <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">i'll</span> just sound like some sort of anti-<span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">semetic</span>, <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">i'm</span> sure. i know how we all like labelling people. so ... <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">i'll</span> keep those opinions to me-self. the bush-bashing chorale of despair is starting to sound REALLY stale to me ... like - its not gonna change (the guy's a fucking nut bar ... we just gotta live with it, i guess until the <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">americans</span> vote some other creep into the white house who'll also lie, cheat and fuck the world up some more). also - the we-hate-evil-<span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">islam</span> chorus is getting really quite tiresome.<br />and the whole god-fearing complacent, absolutist fucking lark ... <span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" >THAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST</span>!<br /><br />i wanna know why all y'all, who believe in 'god' as absolute, think you got the market cornered on spirituality. how do you know? how do i know? how the HELL does any of us know? and ... i sure as hell ain't gonna seek 'salvation' for my soul from some fucking pedophile that calls himself a 'priest' ... or 'father' ... (fucking hell - one 'dad' in my life is surely enuf, ain't it?) <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">i'd</span> like all you self-righteous smug types out there to go and look after all those unwanted children ... the ones that never should have entered this world ... the ones who's mothers had no access to abortion/birth control. and while you're at it, how 'bout stopping by and checking out all those dudes with huntington's chorea disease. yeah ... y'now - those dudes (young men, mostly - my age many of them) who COULD benefit from STEM CELL RESEARCH if blasted christianity would get outta the way of our society's technological progress.<br /><br />before you drop your jaws ... or drop an acid bomb comment on this page, tell me ... have you ever looked after the unwanted? the forgotten and grotesque cast-aways of humanity? yes, <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">virginia</span>, there is a goodly many portion of humanity, cast aside like spoiled fruit. do have any clue about these? about their existence? likely not. because ... its good '<span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">nuff</span> y'all think, to just wear your prettiest dress and make sure the whole FUCKING neighbourhood sees ya when you go to church on Sunday.<br /><br />yeah yeah. <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">i'm</span> pissed off at a world of <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">hypocrits</span>, liars and thieves. why not? as that <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">song</span> said ... <span style="font-style: italic;">'its my party and </span><span style="font-style: italic;" onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">i'll</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> cry if i want to ...'</span> so deal with it! i'm not gonna cloak my anger, hostility and rage in a nice party dress so y'all will feel more comfy here. nah ... there ain't no fluffy stuff, or <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">rosey</span> words here ... just me, in the raw. yes -- raw, BUT ... always true! truth, i find hard to come by, since most humans are lying sacks of fecal waste matter.<br /><br /><span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">i'm</span> still partially of the mindset that this whole blogging thing is a pile of crap, basically. but ... well, its a good way to unload. and contemplating the whole living and dying thing. and how it all seems so damned random. RANDOM. the moment of impact flashes through my head constantly ... and thoughts of how it all coulda turned out a lot worse for me.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/3brwomen.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/3brwomen.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">i</span><span style="font-size:85%;">mage credit: ROXI G, 2006 (taken at the manitoba arts council building)<br /></span></div><br /><span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">i've</span> decided that i will not be a good citizen of the <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">blogosphere</span> any more. well, because, there is really no <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">blogosphere</span> and there never was -- its all an optical illusion we've conjured up to fill a pathetic gap. the only friend one really ever has is oneself. and that, dear reader (<span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">lol</span> i seriously doubt i have any of those left at this point: <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">i've</span> likely scared you all off by now) is the unfortunate truth. so .. i guess what <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">i'm</span> saying ... is ... don't expect a comment on your blog from me unless you have made one here. i reciprocate ... no longer will i waste time initiating or extending the olive branch. no one really wants an olive branch ... they just want what they want. ok ... it sounds a little harsh -- but you get my drift, no doubt. and if you don't -- well then i hope you're not operating that computer without supervision.<br /><br />in sum ... <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">i'm</span> plain sick and tired of trying to maintain ties with individuals who seem so disinterested they take eons to return emails/comments .. or worse yet ... never return them at all. <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">i've</span> decided <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">i'm</span> still here doing this fucking blogging thing because it suits me .. not because of the illusion of any connectedness about which i deluded myself. DELUSION. any sense of connectedness - its a god-damned delusion! plain and simple. so ... like me ... don't like me ... comment ... don't comment ... whatever. its all the same to me. just know that i will no longer initiate. only reciprocate. my time is far too precious to be spent chasing aliases that have no interest being caught.<br /><br />if anyone is still reading at this point ... i just wanna add one more thing. seriously, <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">i'm</span> asking - people with a serious appreciation for poetry to read my stuff and provide an honest opinion. <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">i'll</span> provide the link if anyone wants it. and ... <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">lol</span> ... if no one wants it ... well then - fuck you all, its your loss.<br /><br />and .... that's all i got to say about that.velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-69899241422261353442006-08-28T12:58:00.000-05:002006-08-25T17:26:54.881-05:00maybe this is my last post here<span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"> i'm</span> told that this feeling i have - the one i get whenever i get into a car that tells me <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">i'm</span> gonna die - <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">i'm</span> told it subsides in time.<span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"> argh</span> - <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">ok</span>. but, transit tom's still my preferred method of transportation<span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">. i've</span> decided <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">i'd</span> only ever drive again if someone would die if i did not. otherwise -- no chance <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">i'll</span> ever sit in the driver's seat again. ever.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/front%20end-rt.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/front%20end-rt.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />what's even scarier than thinking<span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10"> i'm</span> going to die whenever i leave the house is the fact that my dad - 70 years old - is truly and seriously a moving menace. stop signs are just places where you pause, not stop, the car. and shoulder checks are optional. oh yeah - and so is looking out for oncoming traffic when you're turning left. <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">ACKK</span>! i really think there it should be MANDATORY to re-test everyone over the age of 70 years! honestly.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/front-end-lt.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/front-end-lt.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />now <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">i'm</span> not really sure how to proceed here. either way <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">i'm</span> gonna come outta this one with shit on my face - <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">i'm</span> the bad person if i take steps to get his license revoked (i really really should investigate how this gets done) and i cannot live with myself if i say nothing and allow him to kill someone - my mother or someone else.<span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15"> ahhh</span> - aging parents. so much fun - NOT. how is it that cognitive deterioration and short term memory loss just seem to creep up ... <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">i'm</span> convinced its those people that are unsociable hermit types that suffer from cognitive deterioration of aging first<span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">. y'know</span> - its like anything else - ya use it or ya lose it!<br /><br />i think that lupin and i shall go hiking in the forest and just not return when it feels like we have reached 'that time' in our lives. <span style="font-weight: bold;">why is it that we humans can't just look death straight in the eye and walk into it?</span> preserving life at all cost ... its <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">soooo</span> short-sighted and pointless and selfish.<br /><br /><span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">ok</span>. so <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">what've</span> i been up to lately?<span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21"> weeeeeelll</span> ... i've tired tired tired tired of wasting keystrokes in this here place ... and so went in search of a place where people interact ... found a new (poetry) hangout <a href="http://allpoetry.com/poets/iridescent%20velvet">here</a> and that's where i have spent<span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22"> alot</span> of time lately - writing .... writing ... writing. and receiving lots of feedback. feedback - yeah! imagine that - some place that's <span style="font-weight: bold;">interactive</span> - the way this place used to be, before it became a place where people stroke their fragile egos.<br /><br />its a long shot, but i will see if i can get published - that's my next project.<br /><br />also ...i'm reading some Edgar Allen Poe, Pablo Neruda, and also reading Lady <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">Chatterly's</span> Lover - (how can a man, writing in the early 1900s, be so right re: his take on men and sex ... ? its remarkable). oh! and ... i found someone - a wonderful <a href="http://fallenlights.net/portfolio/traditional/forestgoddess.jpg">artist</a> - to immortalize my late afghan hound in a painting. the piece in the link is acrylic and watercolor on watercolor paper soaked in tea. artist's name is <a href="http://fallenlights.net/updates.html"><span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">laura</span> <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">pelick</span></a>. i absolutely ADORE her work. more of her stuff <a href="http://shadowgirl.deviantart.com/">here</a> ... check it - she sells prints of her stuff.<br /><br />i have not been around here much because i really had nothing to say. i have been toying with the idea of making a post on medical marijuana - or maybe reefer madness - its brewing right now. but y'know what? i really think before i expend all that time and energy, i oughta find a place to post it where people will actually appreciate such a post. sadly, i fear its not here.<br /><br />anyway ... lately<span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26"> i'm</span> not in the mood for reality. the news is basically ridiculous lies ... and the liars that get the most airtime are fucking stupid. so, i am not wasting my time on those god-damned idiots that are running the world into the ground. so ... i don't really wanna talk politics or religion or anything else really really reality-based. WHY BOTHER? it solves nothing. absolutely nothing. it seems almost <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">narcissistic</span> - like just spouting one's mouth off to hear oneself speak.<br /><br />the only thing that has really stayed with me of all the recent news - is Stephen Lewis being interviewed about AIDS - that women are the group now most afflicted by AIDS, worldwide, now the women of <span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">africa</span> ... are dying ... and no one gives a flying FUCK. well, i guess they got no oil so the west figures to hell with them, eh?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/glass-airbag.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/200/glass-airbag.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />oh ... and then there's new orleans ... are the americans all too busy playing soldier to realize that this city is just as vulnerable as it was a year ago when it got levelled? why do i have to watch a canadian network to see a documentary about katrina and its aftermath a year later? er ... could it be because all the american networks are playing war games or have their heads so far stuck up osama bin laden's ass hole?<br /><br />i really really think that humans are the single greatest menace to this world and universe. we will be the destruction of ourselves yet. what a great legacy to leave our children -- whom, by the way, we absolutely SUCK at rearing. but ... that ... is a topic for a post that may never get written. honestly - this all feels like a silly time wasting exercise. i guess i come back, hoping for a connection. BUT THAT HAS EVAPORATED. and i don't know why.<br /><br />so ... i don't know if i'll come back here. HONESTLY. i mean, what's the point? if this is a conversation with myself, then i can find another avenue for such. i really used to treasure this place for the connection it gave me ... but it appears that was merely an illusion. a mirage. <span style="font-weight: bold;">there is no connectedness. and there never was</span>. only one-ness. cuz ... in the end ... that is all that each of us has - 'number one' -- ourself. no one else.<br /><br />we kid ourselves that connectedness to other humans exists ... ain't that the greatest psychic illusion out there?<br /><span onclick="BLOG_clickHandler(this)" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31"><br /></span>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-67189463753688961622006-08-19T19:16:00.000-05:002006-08-19T19:30:00.883-05:00i have the bubonic plague ...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/1600/psycho_happy_bunny.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/1396/3143/320/psycho_happy_bunny.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">ok ... not really.<br />but -<br />just testing ...<br />if anyone reads this<br />mindles dribble<br />i don't think<br />anyone does anymore<br />maybe i have the<br />bubonic plague?<br /><br />that must be it ...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div>velvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25748852.post-28861990509536637942006-08-18T19:28:00.000-05:002006-08-31T19:29:38.212-05:00inertiai made a list<br />checked it twice<br />got myself a plan<br />and could not leave here<br /><br />submerged myself<br />in poetry<br />and more poetry<br />and produced<br /><br />whittled<br />carved<br />altered<br />re-aligned<br /><br />still inert though<br />shock -<br />a thick veil<br />of oppressive dreadvelvet acid tonguehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04109259979131443493noreply@blogger.com0