Monday, July 31, 2006

i just hAFta ask .... REVISED

  1. is condi under the influence of some powerful hallucinogen? is the entire current US administration?
  2. can someone tell me how, exactly, 36 children posed a security threat to israel? and wtf was israel thinking ... killing them????
  3. what is with this hate fest we got goin' on here? does insulting your opponent, calling them stupid or evil, make you feel like your penis is three sizes bigger, or what?!!! am i the only one that is SICK and TIRED of reading this drIBble?
  4. wtf was israel thinking, bombing a UN observer post?
  5. how does an airport and an electrical power plant pose a security threat to israel?
  6. how many lebanese are worth 2 israeli soldiers?
  7. why is it terrorism when saddam attacks kuwait, but its 'self defence' when israel attacks lebanon?
  8. what the hell have those jokers (that call them selves world leaders) been doing these past several years? why-the-f*ck is osama bin laden STILL at large?
  9. what is israel hiding? why won't it let the UN partake in its investigation of the outpost bombing? is it so they won't have witnesses when they whitewash it and make it go away?
  10. if one or more of those UN observers had been american, would the wording of the UN resolution been stronger?
  11. will dubya, blair, and anyone who thinks these apes are 'handling the situation' ... will these people EVER get their heads OUTTA their asses?
  12. why are there such different presentations and level of detail provided in the news casts, depending on whether i watch CNN, CBC or BBC?
  13. can someone tell me why a herbicide resistant canola seed that is sterile poses a contamination risk to the food chain? has there ever been a documented case of illness or death?
i know ... i know ...
many of these questions
are unpopular ...
and you may not
even think they are
the right questions
to ask
but ...
i just hafta ask
them anyway

Sunday, July 30, 2006

happy heart?

Friday, July 28, 2006

a wolf and velvet

beautiful, smiling wolf

velvet acid - self portrait

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

how do you make velvet acid?

How to make velvet acid

5 parts compassion

5 parts daffodil

3 parts fury
Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Stand back and let the sparks settle. handle with caution!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

mental decongestant?

ever get that feeling?
like ...
a stuffy brain?
when i get
a stuffy nose
i run to
dristan nasal spray
WTF do i do
to treat
a stuffy brain?

pay me my money down ...

i just LOVE this tune and, so HAD to share it with y'all!

Upload music at Bolt.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

van gogh?

some fotos
of a bronze sculpture
that currently sits
in downtown edmonton ....

a view of the left ...

... and of the right

cool, huh? well i thought so.
it really captures his ... his torment.
and the mutilation he committed
against himself.
you really wouldn't know
something is grotesquely wrong
with this van gogh
unless you glimpsed
the right side of him,
would you?

Saturday, July 22, 2006

kandahar, saskachewan? (no kidding)

yes ... kandahar.
and yes, in saskatchewan.
never heard of it, have you?

its a little town
along the yellowhead highway
that takes travellers to edmonton.
so ... here we are.
driving along in our z24.
cruisin the prairie highway.

thinking hard about
someone we recently lost.
a dear someone.
our dog. an afghan hound.
and .... hmmm.

out of nowhere
comes this tiny green sign.
at the side of the road.
KANDAHAR. it says.

and i am convinced
that was a message from blazer.
a visit from his spirit.
to comfort us.
i felt it.

and the sign?
it made me smile.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

raising our children ...?

just got back from visiting my oldest and dearest girlfriend in alberta. she is a divorced, single mother of three kids: 15, 12 and 9 years old. her kids' father has little involvement in their upbringing. it was interesting for lupin and me to see how someone else raises their kids. very interesting indeed. it made me wonder ...

  • should children growing up learn proper manner?
  • should we really still be spanking our children to force their compliance?
  • when does a spanking stop and a beating begin?
  • and what of the way it makes a child feel?
  • does not this, in and of itself, make it wrong?

i remember being spanked
at 2 years old
with a wooden ruler
because i peed my pants.
my dad was angry.
and so i got spanked.
i never forgot
the way it made me feel --
ego crushed.

  • is that how we want to be remembered by our kids?
  • and what of setting limits?
  • is it not compassionate and necessary to teach them how to function in society?
  • should a 9 year old boy still be sleeping with his mother?
  • or screaming from the bed the second he awakes 'mom i'm hungry!'
  • really? should he?

i'm not the mum of the century,
but my boy can function in society --
you know,
has manners,
and self-sufficient independence.
he would never dream
of showing off to visitors
how well he can fart or belch ...
that IS rude, isn't it?

it's so easy to collect children - you know, a they are sort of status symbol - but how sad that few of us realize how very difficuly it is to raise them properly. it is so much easier to give in and let them have their way. how sad for those kids. how sad for the parents, too. that they have so little regard for their task as parents.

i would just like to add that the value of fathers is SOOOOOO under-rated. a child needs its father. especially a boy. to all you fathers out there ... know that you absolutely do make a difference in the lives of your children. you are NOT just the banker or the sperm donor. those babies ... ? they look up to you for so much more.

photo is of our son, taken in 2003.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

what is religion?

can we define it?

here's what the oxford dictionary, 9th edition, says about religion.
1 the belief in a superhuman controlling power, esp. in a personal god or gods entitled to obedience and worship. 2 the expression of this in worship. 3 a particular system of faith and worship. 4 life under monastic vows (the way of religion). 5 a thing that one is devoted to (football is their religion) (p 1161)

so? does this definition capture the essence of religion? of what it means to the devout, the doubters, and the atheists? religion affects us all deeply. even those of us who choose to regard it as a mere construct to facilitate social survival.

you know that, more than three decades after my initial indoctrination, i still have a running ticker tape of the apostles' creed in my head? how these things got drilled into our heads as kids! what i really didn't get, though, was being told i had to stay hungry and thirsty going to church so i could be 'pure' to receive holy communion.

does a 5 or 6 year old kid get that? and why should god care if i drank a glass of juice 20 minutes before mass started? does that really make me bad? too impure to receive god? a disobedient little one? (just so you know ... i am not making this up). and yet, i had to go hungry or thirsty because that's what god wanted. anyway, that's what i remember about god. about religion. as a kid. the feeling that we are never good enough. for god. and never will be. the notion that suffering has some sort of redeeming, cleansing function.

i digress.
back on track.
religion - how to define it?
well, depending on your perspective,
there are 3 possibilities.

1. religion as a social construct
  • a manifestation of some psychological or moral pathology?
  • a pernicious and deliberate falsehood, spread and encouraged by rulers and clerics in their own interests, in an effort exercise control over others?
  • seeing religions as marginally useful constructs which encode instructions or habits useful for survival in a society
  • seeing religion as 'the opium of the masses'

2. religion as progressing toward a higher truth
  • reflections of an essential truth?
  • seeing religious truth as relative, due to its varied cultural application and/or expression
  • seeing prophets as messengers of god -- individuals given to extraordinary spiritual insight during periods of social decay and acting as purveyors of balance and social survival.
  • seeing religion as evolving over time in a thesis-antithesis-synthesis-great awakening paradigm

3. religion as absolute truth
  • the exclusivist view
  • one belief system ... one holy book ... one supreme being
  • seeing all things and individuals incongruent with the one belief system as ignorant, devious, false, misguided
  • a sort of arrogant view of truth ("our view is the RIGHT view, all others are wrong")
  • providing an unwavering perspective that requires individuals to conform to its truth
so....? where do you fit in? before you answer, though ... consider this: it's clear, isn't it -- that intimate connection between your philosophical view of truth and your chosen religious view?
whatever religious perspective you weave into your cultural matrix speaks to your larger view of truth, the universe, humanity, and how we got here.

regardless which point of the star you are coming from ...
its profound stuff, ain't it?

remembering sunny days

shaggy angel

the pain of loss, so acutely felt
reminds us,
like a hunger pang,
of the missing entity

a gaping void
and ...
similar to a hunger pang
i feel so tempted
at the thought
of filling up
to dissolve it

but alas
this hunger pang
it must, like an infection,
travel its way thru my body
and my being
there are no shortcuts
to dispelling grieving feelings.

thank you to all of you for thinking of us during this time.

a special ear scratch to k9 for being there ...

is there anyone out there
that would entertain the notion
of painting a portrait of my shaggy angel?
if so, please email me ...
we can work something out ...

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

canine spirit

a lovely poem about the canine spirit ... link is here, at my wordpress site.

hurts like a bitch

i just wanna cry. first time in many years walking thru the door, knowing blazer is not there to greet me with a tail wag, kisses and snuggles. i have lost my best friend. a dear, sweet spirit. its so empty. and empty. i can really not stand it. does the pain ever go away? i really, really cannot stand to feel this pain.

Monday, July 10, 2006

a day of lasts, a day of firsts

today, at 14:51 central time dragonfly lawrence of arabia drew his last breath.

our day began early, when i made the phone call that sealed our beloved's fate. we set a time. and from that moment on, every breath, every thought moved us to his death. the last time we ever gave him a treat of wet food in a dish. the last time we poured kibble into his bowl. the last time i poured filtered water into his dish (yes, filtered). the last time he laid on lupin's futon bed, all sprawled out like he owned the place. the last time we left the house with him. his last free run along the northwest bank of the red river. i will go to that spot now and see him there, at the edge of the low rocky cliff, nose in the wind and a wide canine smile. i will remember my hound like that.

on the floor in that special room at the vet's, he would not lay down. independent minded as ever, he stood while the vet injected the drugs that would put him to sleep. we slowly and gently lowered him onto his side when the drugs quickly took effect. i drew my fingers along every whisp of apricot coloured hair, along every curve of his body, felt between his toes for the very last time, and the delicate boney bumps on the insides of his knees. i pressed my face into his soft, gund-like fur. and i sobbed. a howling sort of sob. stabbing. aching. this feeling of sorrow, and it cut thru the room.

and there's more. however i am empty of inspiration. i cannot write anymore right now. but, i just wanted you all to know. its done.

(ps - i have posted this on the wordpress site as well)

Saturday, July 08, 2006

lego world cup?

Friday, July 07, 2006

manual or automatic?

just curious.
y'know, just sittin' here.
thinking 'bout entirely trivial stuff.
like ...

do you prefer a car with a manual or an automatic transmission?

meh, i drive a manual.
and i loooooove it.
whenever i drive my dad's car,
which is an automatic,
i get confused.
it seems too easy.
and not as much in my control
as i would like.
and ... um ... well,
i thinks that an automatic
is a lazy man's car.

just sayin' ....

oh yeah ... and i gotta plug the new place.


"gripped by a sudden craving to please him. she wanted to please him. she smiled demurely. he gently tugged the scarf from her grip. and they both watched it slink away from her fingers in billowing movement.

he wrapped the scarf around her head twice, gently tugging on its end as he fastened it. no reflexive panic this time. soothing blindness - she could see only..."

TO READ THE REST YOU GOTTA VISIT the new place: velvet acid 8

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

have you visited the new blog?

here is the link

Sunday, July 02, 2006

too funny!

its all about ME

  • i'm roxanne, and this is velvet, the voice inside my head. and this -- this is her blog.
  • i'm that wild, passionate and unruly girl your mum warned you about

    i'm a maelstrom, a whirling dervish, a minx. i run from "same-ness" - i find it oppressive.

    change is good. change is necessary. life is change.

    if change scares you, if change intimidates you, if change makes you uncomfortable, then you're a BORE!

    this blog changes to reflect its continually evolving creator - moi.

    so ... adapt!

    you never know what you'll find when you get to velvet's place. that's the adventure of it all.

    this place continues to take shape, as velvet finds her voice in all this darkness.

    velvet rants, rages, throws the occasional hissy fit, launches the odd venomous tirade, and intellectually contemplates all the stuff of life, love, and soul

    its depressing, and enraging because the world burns and crumbles before our eyes. yet we sleep.

    we sleep. apathy, greed, power sit atop our eyelids like lead weights

    so, welcome to my world.

    i aim to pry your eyes open, to pry your mind open, to get you thinking outside the box, to shock you even.

    i ask the questions most choose to ignore. i think the thoughts most consider unthinkable. i'm alive. i'm awake. are you?

    hey -- WAKE UP!

  • fury wrapped in a daffodil, confused, undecided, wild child, indigo child, impatient, insomniac, rebellious, outspoken, artistic, restless, bored with routine, i love change, afraid of commitment, i work to live - not live to work, claustrophobic, perfectionist, odd and maybe downright wierd, anxious and maybe a l'il (ok, a lot) neurotic, dichotomous, a teensy bit vitrolic, prone to nastiness, a maverick and a cynic, highly intuitive, sensual, erotic, intense, spiritual -- NOT religious, a bitch, a wordsmith, poet, storyteller, addict, mother, caregiver, dog lover, voracious reader, Mac person, Coke drinker, cannibis appreciator, clean freak, prone to hissy fits, attitude - i got one, fav. colour: red, perfume: estee lauder pleasures exotic, voluptuous, afraid of falling asleep, afraid of the dark, hate being touched, still get flashbacks - PTSD, nite hawk, into fetishes, got a sadomasochistic streak in me
My profile

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my GRACE blog - giving thanx

methuselah lives here

    i have several poetry blogs on the 'net. essentially these contain the same stuff, just presented in differing formats. this methuselah just likes digging around in more than one corpse at a time!

  • THE velvet poetry collection

  • velvet's OTHER wordpress
  • velvet's livejournal
  • velvet's msn livespace
  • velvet's myspace

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    scribbles & scratches



      afghan hound

      yes to madness





      Free Image Hosting at

      Free Image Hosting at

    velvet poetry

      bell jar dreams

      you held me in your arms,
      my trembling alabaster fruit
      and savagely,
      you trampled me, underfoot
      as master of my shattered freedom
      you - the twisted and beautiful lord
      who sealed me in a windowless bell jar
      with anguish and solitude,
      as my only companions

      captor! my demented master!
      my withered soul screams for you
      it howls for the soothing barbs,
      hidden, in your voice
      and your frail, orgasmic vulnerability
      my withered soul screams your name,
      raging delicately,
      for the gaping hollows of my existence,
      which melted into yours:
      dessicated dreams,
      vanquished innocence

      this sick hunger in my heart for you -
      will it ever ebb?

      copyright ROXI G 2006

      your grace grotesquely crumbles

      your grace crumbled
      into grotesque flakes
      as your fingertips slashed
      my tender silken face
      with rage and vengence,
      that drench my frail child-spirit

      steeped in self-loathing,
      you infected me -
      my gauzy soul
      on your poisoned barbs
      of hatred and lusty greed

      once, i loved you -
      worshipped you, adored you
      and darkness
      eviscerated my heart
      as i watched this adoration stream past
      your inert, stoney heart

      my trembling eyes splinter
      into a thousand tears
      when i look upon your face -
      my reflection - in the looking glass
      you, who deserted my child-trust -
      remain, achingly, ever present

      this dark riverbed of adoration
      that flowed in my viscera for you
      has dried up; my heart --
      which once glistened sublimely inside yours,
      now lies in eternal anguish:
      dessicated, petrified, searingly denuded

      your grace crumbles
      into grotesque flakes
      of grief, rage and greed,
      soaked in the brine of remorse
      you beg, like i did, for a morsel of mercy
      but -- i will STARVE you of forgiveness

      copyright ROXI G 2006


        "there's no way around grief and loss: you can dodge it all you want, but sooner or later you just have to go into it, through it, and, hopefully, come out on the other side. the world you find there will never be the same as the world you left." (johnny cash)

        "i wore black because i liked it. i still do, and wearing it still means something to me. its still my symbol of rebellion - against a stagnant status quo, against our hypocritical houses of god, against people whose minds are closed to others' ideas." (johnny cash)

      poetry masters

        if only you would touch my heart
        if only you were to put your mouth
        to my heart
        if only you were to put your tongue
        like a red arrow
        there where my dusty heart is beating,
        if you were to blow on my heart
        near the sea, weeping,
        it would make a dark noise,
        like the drowsy sound of train wheels
        like the indecision of waters,
        like autumn in full leaf
        like blood,
        with a noise of damp flames
        burning the sky,
        with a sound like dreams
        or branches or the rain,
        or foghorns in some dismal port,
        if you were to blow on my heart
        near the sea, likea white ghost,
        in the spume of the wave,
        in the middle of the wind
        like a ghost unleashed,
        at the seashore, weeping.

        ... Pablo Neruda, from 'Bararole'

        By a route obscure and lonely,
        Haunted by ill angels only,
        Where an Eidolon, named NIGHT,
        On a black thrones reigns upright,
        i have reached these lands but newly
        From an ultimate dim Thule -
        From a wild wierd clime that lieth, sublime,
        Out of SPACE - out of TIME.

        ... Edgar Allan Poe, from 'Dream-Land'

      anais nin

        "and the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

        “i do not like to be just one anais, whole, contained. as soon as someone defines me. i do as june does; i seek escape from the confinements of definition.”

        “i speak of relief, perhaps when i write; but it is also an engraving of pain, a tatooing of myself.”

        “we are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we long for, need, love or desire, often against reality, against their benefit, and always, in the end, a disappointment, because it does not fit them.”

        “life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. this is a kind of death.”