its all about ME
- i'm roxanne, and this is velvet, the voice inside my head. and this -- this is her blog.
- i'm that wild, passionate and unruly girl your mum warned you about
i'm a maelstrom, a whirling dervish, a minx. i run from "same-ness" - i find it oppressive.change is good. change is necessary. life is change.
if change scares you, if change intimidates you, if change makes you uncomfortable, then you're a BORE!
this blog changes to reflect its continually evolving creator - moi.
so ... adapt!
you never know what you'll find when you get to velvet's place. that's the adventure of it all.
this place continues to take shape, as velvet finds her voice in all this darkness.
velvet rants, rages, throws the occasional hissy fit, launches the odd venomous tirade, and intellectually contemplates all the stuff of life, love, and soul
its depressing, and enraging because the world burns and crumbles before our eyes. yet we sleep.
we sleep. apathy, greed, power sit atop our eyelids like lead weights
so, welcome to my world.
i aim to pry your eyes open, to pry your mind open, to get you thinking outside the box, to shock you even.
i ask the questions most choose to ignore. i think the thoughts most consider unthinkable. i'm alive. i'm awake. are you?
hey -- WAKE UP!
- fury wrapped in a daffodil, confused, undecided, wild child, indigo child, impatient, insomniac, rebellious, outspoken, artistic, restless, bored with routine, i love change, afraid of commitment, i work to live - not live to work, claustrophobic, perfectionist, odd and maybe downright wierd, anxious and maybe a l'il (ok, a lot) neurotic, dichotomous, a teensy bit vitrolic, prone to nastiness, a maverick and a cynic, highly intuitive, sensual, erotic, intense, spiritual -- NOT religious, a bitch, a wordsmith, poet, storyteller, addict, mother, caregiver, dog lover, voracious reader, Mac person, Coke drinker, cannibis appreciator, clean freak, prone to hissy fits, attitude - i got one, fav. colour: red, perfume: estee lauder pleasures exotic, voluptuous, afraid of falling asleep, afraid of the dark, hate being touched, still get flashbacks - PTSD, nite hawk, into fetishes, got a sadomasochistic streak in me
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my GRACE blog - giving thanx
methuselah lives here
- THE velvet poetry collection
- velvet's OTHER wordpress
- velvet's livejournal
- velvet's msn livespace
- velvet's myspace
- urban semiotic
- enemy of the republic
- spilled to bloodlessness
- marmaduke explained
- from gaza with love
- the letter N
- adham khalil
- croak
- /t.
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- words for chocolate
- behind blue eyes
- the notorious fatty
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- wch
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- mr.Q
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- daily dish
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- singing fish
- html de-mystified!
i have several poetry blogs on the 'net. essentially these contain the same stuff, just presented in differing formats. this methuselah just likes digging around in more than one corpse at a time!
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velvet poetry
bell jar dreams
tenderly,
you held me in your arms,
ripening
my trembling alabaster fruit
and savagely,
you trampled me, underfoot
as master of my shattered freedom
you - the twisted and beautiful lord
who sealed me in a windowless bell jar
with anguish and solitude,
as my only companions
captor! my demented master!
my withered soul screams for you
it howls for the soothing barbs,
hidden, in your voice
and your frail, orgasmic vulnerability
my withered soul screams your name,
raging delicately,
for the gaping hollows of my existence,
which melted into yours:
dessicated dreams,
vanquished innocence
this sick hunger in my heart for you -
will it ever ebb?
copyright ROXI G 2006
into grotesque flakes
as your fingertips slashed
my tender silken face
with rage and vengence,
that drench my frail child-spirit
steeped in self-loathing,
you infected me -
impaled
my gauzy soul
on your poisoned barbs
of hatred and lusty greed
once, i loved you -
worshipped you, adored you
and darkness
eviscerated my heart
as i watched this adoration stream past
your inert, stoney heart
my trembling eyes splinter
into a thousand tears
when i look upon your face -
my reflection - in the looking glass
you, who deserted my child-trust -
remain, achingly, ever present
this dark riverbed of adoration
that flowed in my viscera for you
has dried up; my heart --
which once glistened sublimely inside yours,
now lies in eternal anguish:
dessicated, petrified, searingly denuded
your grace crumbles
into grotesque flakes
of grief, rage and greed,
soaked in the brine of remorse
you beg, like i did, for a morsel of mercy
but -- i will STARVE you of forgiveness
copyright ROXI G 2006
wisdom
"there's no way around grief and loss: you can dodge it all you want, but sooner or later you just have to go into it, through it, and, hopefully, come out on the other side. the world you find there will never be the same as the world you left." (johnny cash)
"i wore black because i liked it. i still do, and wearing it still means something to me. its still my symbol of rebellion - against a stagnant status quo, against our hypocritical houses of god, against people whose minds are closed to others' ideas." (johnny cash)
poetry masters
if only you would touch my heart
if only you were to put your mouth
to my heart
if only you were to put your tongue
like a red arrow
there where my dusty heart is beating,
if you were to blow on my heart
near the sea, weeping,
it would make a dark noise,
like the drowsy sound of train wheels
like the indecision of waters,
like autumn in full leaf
like blood,
with a noise of damp flames
burning the sky,
with a sound like dreams
or branches or the rain,
or foghorns in some dismal port,
if you were to blow on my heart
near the sea,
likea white ghost,
in the spume of the wave,
in the middle of the wind
like a ghost unleashed,
at the seashore, weeping.
... Pablo Neruda, from 'Bararole'
By a route obscure and lonely,
Haunted by ill angels only,
Where an Eidolon, named NIGHT,
On a black thrones reigns upright,
i have reached these lands but newly
From an ultimate dim Thule -
From a wild wierd clime that lieth, sublime,
Out of SPACE - out of TIME.
... Edgar Allan Poe, from 'Dream-Land'
anais nin
"and the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
“i do not like to be just one anais, whole, contained. as soon as someone defines me. i do as june does; i seek escape from the confinements of definition.”
“i speak of relief, perhaps when i write; but it is also an engraving of pain, a tatooing of myself.”
“we are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we long for, need, love or desire, often against reality, against their benefit, and always, in the end, a disappointment, because it does not fit them.”
“life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. this is a kind of death.”
/bark bark bark
made it through a day without?
i like the photo, and the new page design. really nice.
hope you and lupin are okay. (as you can be)
/grrr
Posted by
Anonymous |
12/7/06 19:55
hey ... yeah. i sent you an email or two with the details of just how we made it thru ... it was emotional. and spiritual.
i'll likely write about this sometime soon.
we are ok. drowning our sorrows a little too much that first nite and day. but ... so it is. his dying gift to us ...bringing us together? and that is yet another blog post.
i wasn't planning on doing anything more to blogger really but i found a couple templates i really like. and this was one of them. so i couldn't resist. i'm still doing the wordpress tho.
i really miss a pet spirit. a lot. it was such a great presence.
Posted by
velvet acid tongue |
12/7/06 20:11